Ripped Apart

Ripped Apart

It’s been a year since my life changed. Since my worst nightmare came true. A year since I lost my husband.

I was blindsided when he said he wanted a divorce. When I woke up that morning, I didn’t know that was the last day. That he had been that unhappy. That the life I thought we had was a different story from the one he thought we had.

The Sexually Abandoned Spouse Part II

The Sexually Abandoned Spouse Part II

I always told myself that lack of sex was not a good enough reason to divorce someone, but after several tear-streaked conversations with friends who had no idea the personal hell I was going through, I realized how wrong I was. None of my extremely religious family members or friends blamed me at all for wanting to get out. Quite the opposite, they asked why I hadn't trusted anyone with my experience. My response was indignant and protective. It wasn't my place to tell the world about my husband's sexual dysfunction, so I'd ignored my own pain.

The Sexually Abandoned Spouse

The Sexually Abandoned Spouse

I was two years into my first marriage. I had arrived at a sex toy party that a friend from work had thrown, shown up early, and brought a chocolate fountain. Later, in a circle of giggling, half-drunk women, the seller at the party pointed at me and said, “You’re the biggest prude in the room. You showed up early, brought food, you’ll help clean up, too. I’ve got you pegged.”

When Love Hurts

When Love Hurts

I met R at the young age of 21. I moved from Chicago to Arizona after a suicide attempt, and there was so much I had to figure out. I needed to get away from my home and the life I created—a life with absolutely no boundaries, thanks to my own lack of discipline.

If I moved to a new place, everything would automatically be different, or so I thought. It wasn’t too long before I realized it could only be different if I made different choices.

Letting Go

Letting Go

What is shared parenting like for you? What does it mean?
Shared parenting means that we get to have as much time with our daughter as we can while also sharing the things that go with parenthood—expenses, childcare, school, etc. This is not typical, in a sense, since there is no alimony and no child support. We made a choice to share all expenses and focus on equal time together.

The Next Right Thing

The Next Right Thing

I had my first child when I was nineteen years old, and not long after my daughter was born, her father and I were married. There was a lot of pressure to do so—and I would call myself a people-pleaser. My father also had a terminal illness, and I really wanted him to walk me down the aisle. I married despite knowing it was not the right choice, despite my mom telling me I didn't have to.