Good morning, Trench Dwellers!
Did the stories about life after choosing abortion pull at your heart strings like they did mine? These women helped us see that abortion is not an easy choice and that, for these two authors, it was a decision that lingered for the rest of their lives. You can read Jenn and Thunder Hearted Woman's stories on the blog.
This week, our focus turns to conflict and constrast in marriage. What happens when your marriage blows up? Is it possible to reconcile, restore, and thrive again? For Vanessa, the answer is yes: her relationship overcame major hurdles and is thriving again. While some marriages can overcome the worst, some do not—Britni will share about why her marriage ended in divorce. Both stories give great insight into the complications and realities of married life.
NEEDS & OPPORTUNITIES
We are looking for families, friends, or married couples to share their trench story from two different perspectives. Do you have a child who has struggled with addiction, and would you both share what that trench was like? Did your best friend hold you hand through a divorce or the loss of a loved one, and would you both be willing to give your perspectives? Could you and your significant other share how you got through the worst storm of your partnership? We are hoping to share these kind of stories this spring.
We are currently looking for women to share resources for a new Additional Resources page. What websites, songs, books, apps, podcasts, TED talks, blogs, newsletters, or other resources helped you through your trench? Send me an email if you have any resources to share.
Founder, Stories from the Trenches
My youngest turned seven years old this past week, and according to the comments on social media birthday party photos, I probably could win "Mom of the Year" or "Best Pinterest Effort." What wasn't shown was the absolute grief meltdown the night before her birthday or the major panic attack while hanging decorations for her party.
At the beginning of the week, grief pushed hard on the edges of my conscience, with thoughts like: "Eli would be turning five soon, and I will never experience five and six years old again." "My youngest is now turning the same age as my oldest was when their brother passed away." "My oldest seemed so big and mature back, then but my youngest at seven seems so small."
By midweek, these thoughts in my head were full-on shouts, while joy and grief were in a knock-out battle. Battles leave me frayed and exhausted; frayed and exhausted leads to panic attacks. Hence breakdowns, tears, and deep breathing as grief crashed like a tidal wave. The good news is I no longer drown with these tidal waves, and the reality is I don't deserve "Mom of the Year"—more like "Mom Who is Trying Her Best with a BIG FAT Hole in Heart."
This week, we will be hearing stories about the trenches of marriage and divorce. But the stories are just the start—continue the support, conversation and encouragement in the blog comments and in the forums:
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Recent Stories and Resources
Last week, we heard stories from women who have experienced the trench of abortion—stories of grief and hurt but also healing. We hope these additional resources offer strength and encouragement to those who are also in this trench, no matter how far along you are. Please feel free to leave additional suggestions in the comments!
Moving Forward, My Way
Growing up, I always thought I didn’t want children. I couldn't picture it. Everyone would tell me, “Just wait. You’ll change your mind.” I would respond with, “No, I’m not having kids—and if I do, I’ll adopt.”
The Woman I've Become
The other day, my son asked when I became an adult. Since then, I’ve become obsessed with that question. The effort to name the particular moment has been bogged down in the thousands of moments in which I thought I had become an adult only to be greeted with a healthy dose of humility.